Being in harmony with people is essential to the health and wellbeing of an empath. Toxic relationships, whether with friends, family, or co-workers, can cause unimaginable emotional pain and upset to sensitive people. If anyone in your life is creating more emotional pain – that can actually last past when you leave them – it may actually be time to cut ties with them and remove them from your life.
To truly be able to help others, we must first find balance within ourselves. This means taking care of our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual self, staying away from all things toxic including foods, people and substances.
There will be at least one toxic person in every empath’s life causing negative emotions to flood through you when in their presence. With every conversation or interaction you have with them, its like they’re injecting you with poison, but instead of pounding through your veins, the poison is affecting your chakras, pulling them father out of sync.
You will find that toxic people constantly speak negatively of everyone and everything, almost as if all is beneath them instead of being an equal. This can make the life force within you become drained in a matter of minutes.
Their venom is almost completely unstoppable infecting your physical and emotional self no matter how much you try to protect yourself.
If you’re in the presence of a toxic person you will notice many symptoms within yourself such as:
· Exhaustion: they can drain you of so much energy causing you to end up wanting nothing more to sleep or go to bed; mainly when they’re venting.
· The feeling of anger and frustration filling your body: this happens simply being in their presence and depending on what negative traits they carry; this symptom can last close to two weeks.
· Indifference: a lack of interest or feeling towards things you enjoy in life.
· Negativity: even though it’s not a typical trait of yours, this can manifest both in thought and words. You can find yourself speaking and thinking negatively of others and about yourself, the toxic person bringing you into an unfamiliar judgemental place.
More often than not, the toxic person in your life is a family member or a close friend that you’ve known for years, making it so much harder to cut them out of your life most likely because of the love you have for them. You may have already tried to help them, allowing an insight on what has helped you through the ups and downs of your life. They unfortunately don’t want to hear what you are saying, or they nod and act like they’re interested, taking the information in, then don’t follow through with any kind of change, preferring to continue on with the negative rants, brining you down in their wake.
Trying to help someone change and see new perspectives can be exhausting in itself, especially when they don’t care enough to even try.
As empaths we don’t want to hurt or cause any kind of pain to any living being and therefore, we often attract those who need the most healing and we continue to keep them in our lives as we try over and over to help them. However, we must remember to always put our own mental health first. We have a responsibility to keep our bodies and minds in optimal health, and that means getting rid of any stressors from your life because all stress eventually manifests into illness.
Think of it like this, if you ate a food, had a drink or consumed a substance that made you depressed or incredibly ill, you’d avoid consuming it again, right? The same should be said for people who affect you in negative ways or cause emotional unrest. It’s up to us to address the toxic person and remove them from our life if needed because they are never going to take responsibility and just leave, they’ll just continue on their destructive path.
Now when I’m speaking about toxic people, I don’t mean those who from time to time upset us, hurt or offend us by their limited understanding. Nor am I talking about having our egos damaged by somebody one disrespecting us, because we may do that to people without realizing it at some point in our lives. Instead I’m talking about someone whether friends or family, who knows the damage they’re doing to you and repeatedly do so anyways, even if you’ve confronted them about it before.
Their negativity can sometimes be so intense that you can actually feel when they are thinking a negative thought about you.
As an empath, friendships are hard to navigate, mainly because even with the nicest of people, we still feel their upset and/or pain at times. This can sometimes cause confusion between if they’re toxic people or if they’re good people just having a hard time. Yet, the pain of even the kindest of people is nothing like what others can cause us to endure on a constant basis.
Eventually there will come a time where you will have to assess your relationship with the toxic person and decide whether they are causing more harm than good, and with that comes asking yourself some tough questions.
A few questions you should ask yourself are:
· Am I receiving anything positive from this relationship?
· When did I last enjoy being in their company?
· Am I happy when I spend time with him/her?
· Do I feel drained or upset after spending time with them?
· Do we have any of the same Interests?
· Does he/she have any anger or negative thoughts directed towards me?
· Does my relationship with this person effect my emotional health in a negative way?
· Has this person become dependant on me?
· Is this relationship beneficial to either of us?
· Why am I truly staying in this relationship?
· Is this relationship allowing me to grow spiritually, emotionally or mentally, or is it hindering my growth?
There are many reasons we continually encounter toxic people in our lives. The most common being because certain experiences or encounters we have with people create a mirroring effect, showing us issues and weaknesses that we must resolve within ourselves. However, if the same emotional situations keep occurring with a person, it is you that is being left with the emotional baggage that they refuse to take responsibility for. This is the time that you must learn that this relationship is not providing either of you with any knowledge nor is it nurturing any growth, this is when you need to realize that it may be time to remove them from your life. It could be in this loss that you learn your biggest lesson and grow the most.
We can learn a lot from negative people and situations, but that does not mean we need to keep enduring the bad energy that comes with it. Once we learn what we need to learn, it is time to remove yourself from the situation, there is no need to stay and relearn the lesson over and over again.
Repetitively being bombarded with negative energy can eventually be manifested into illness and people who send you that negative energy simply by being in their presence are doing nothing for you, so it’s time to let them go. Not because you don’t love them or because you are turning against them, but instead its because you love yourself and need to heal.
As empaths, we are responsible for the energy we put out into the world whether in the form of words, thoughts or our emotions, and if we are being attacked with bad energy, that negativity ends up being what we project.
It is up to us and only us to make the decision to put ourselves first, to love our self and heal the damage that has been done by others.
How do we heal the energetic damage? Here are a few ways;
· Get grounded; mother earth has so many benefits to the human body and our energy system, one of the best ways is to connect by walking barefoot.
· Smudge Intentions; burn some sage, as it burns speak your intentions. Something like
Into this smoke,
I release all energy that does not serve me,
All negativity that surrounds me,
And all fear that limits me.
· Crystals; Amethyst, Citrine, Smokey Quarts, and Black Tourmaline are some of the best crystals to purify and deflect negative energy. (Carrying these with you can also prevent negative energy from attaching itself to you)
· Reiki session; having a reiki session can help to balance your energy once again and clear the negative energy.
As an empath and lets be honest, even just as a human being, it is up to us who we surround ourselves with and if we notice ourselves becoming continually pulled down by someone, it’s time to reflect on our relationship with that person and maybe even remove them from your life. This goes for family too, the simple thought of ‘but they’re my family’ is no reason for you to stay connected to the person if they’re doing nothing but pile negativity onto you.
I hope that this post helped you to gain some clarity if you’re struggling with a relationship involving a toxic person. Just remember that in this kind of situation you come first, your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health should come before anything else because you are important, and who is going to care for you if you wont.